Milestones....

Most people celebrate many milestones in their lives, their accomplishments with family, friends and loved ones. For me yesterday was a bizarre milestone for me emotionally. Because of the legal system, I can't say much except nearly 1 year ago I lost a young patient that forever changed me as a person, and as a nurse. For those first few days, I could hardly sleep or eat. I'm sure most families never realize what their nurse deals with when she connects with them. And then has to process either the severity of their illness, diagnosis, prognosis or death. Someone once asked me, "why do you want to work somewhere where people are having the worst day of their life?" I just do, was my answer....because we save some! That's what I think I count. But ofcourse, I do remember the families. I do not connect to all families, or them to me, but because of God and the strength he gives me...I can move on. Sometimes easier than other. Many people think that only cold, out of touch people could be nurses, and I don't fit the usual "hardened" ER nurse role. But, I promised nearly 9 years ago, that I would NEVER let a patient die alone. I don't remember ALL their names, but I see their faces in my dreams. Would I trade my job for fame, fortune, or an easy life.?......never. God gave me tender loving hands with which I AM here to help others with, and he gave me wisdom to learn thing about the human body and spirit I never thought possible. Dying scares me, but when I really think about it.....there are so many beautiful angels waiting for me....it's got to be a awesome place.....